July 12, 2017

Confession // Priority List // Midyear Bucketlist

Before anything else this post is kinda long and I hope you make it till the end. Friends I want to confess something. I will be honest with you, I have been struggling to keep this blog running. This past few months I couldn't draft a single article. If I do, it will take me days or weeks and it kinda feel a little lifeless/boring. As if it's not worth your(my readers) time. My creative juices are so drained out to the point I want to quit blogging. That is why last June I have been debating with myself if I should continue or not. 

Sure it's nice to be recognized and earn money from what you love to do. Yet, the negative side is that at some point I was blended by the perks of being a blogger - fame, popularity, freebies and money. That I wasn't able to give/ show the real purpose of this blog. That I wasn't writing the real stories I want to tell rather I tell stories that needs to meet the requirements and others approval. That I wasn't honest at all to myself and to my readers. 

In this process despite the negativity, I was reminded to why I created this blog four years ago. This blog exist for me to have a space where I could share to everyone my thoughts, ideas, dreams, goals and creativity. Also for me to document my self-growth, learning, experiences and memories. It's not about the fame, popularity, freebies and money. It's about touching and inspiring the lives of people who will ever read this blog.

That before all those negative things, blogging has become a tool for me to freely express my thoughts, stories, and goals. Breaking the barrier to connect with people around the world with the same likes and interest. It also become the way for me to meet some inspirational people like people who I really look up to. People who inspired me to do my very best in whatever I do.

This decision making made me realize how silly I am for thinking of quitting and stop doing what I love the most. So yah! This is a start of a new beginning.

Priority & Midyear Bucket List

Time flies so fast that we are already in the month of July. Before the year ends I would like to share my Priority List and Bucket List. Well, this is rather unexpected since I didn't actually made any list for the first 3 months of the year because of my depression and anxiety. Right now, I'm so glad that I'm starting to recover and enjoy life.

Priority List

I will start with my priority list since these are the things that comes to my mind when I was slowly recovering from all the negativity of life. In fact, I'm so happy to say that I have accomplish my list before the year ends.

☑ Pay remaining university balance and file for graduation.
Not many knows that I didn't actually finished my bachelors degree in Computer Science due to circumstances and financial reasons. Instead I applied for the two year course Associate in Computer Technology which was approve last May.

☑ Go back to university to have a bachelor degree.
Some may ask "why not continue and finish your first course if you want to have bachelor degree?". Hmmmm.... I been doing my best to catch up with my lessons but its not working and I know to myself that I can do better than this. That I'm just in the wrong course and field. Though, going back to university seems impossible for me because of financial reason. I keep being optimistic that this desire of mine will come true. Finally, last June 13 this dream of mine came true. I was able to enroll in one of the university in my hometown. I'm so thankful to Papa God for never forgetting to bless me even I some times forget to call for him. Also, thank you so much to people who trust in me even the world seems to don't.

☑ Move/ Relaunch my blog.
I have been wanting to revamp my blog to give a minimalist and sophisticated look. A new look, url and home for Simply Vanessa. It's been a while since the last time I code yet it was super fun and challenging at the same time. Glad I still remember my web and design & programming class way back in college.

☑ Learn new language.
I have been curious about the similarity and difference of Spanish and Bisaya(Cebuano) or Tagalog language. That's why I started learning Spanish last year though I didn't take it seriously. This time I'm confident that I will learn the language and be serious about it. I also want to continue learning Japanese even I don't watch anime anymore. Lastly for now, I will start learning Korean Language. #ParaSaKDrama #ParaKayOppa hahaha.... #KinainNaNgSistema.

☑ To have a memorable summer.
I just had this sudden thought of wanting to enjoy summer - family bonding, do road trips and hit the beach. Thank you universe , what have I done to bless me big time. This came true when my Aunt from Luzon visited Cebu. Read my blog entry here and here.

☑ Learn how to swim.
You know you're having an episode and then random thought would just pop.

☑ Start a new business. Yay!
Being a young adult we are expected to be financially responsible and independent. Honestly, I dislike(maybe also hate) dealing with people that is why I have been jobless after my last work. So I have to think of alternative way for me to earn money. Though I still have a long way to go especially balancing my time at school and at home.

☑ Fight depression and anxiety. 

Midyear Bucket List

Thank you for making till the end part of this post. I created this list right after I enroll myself last June. My sort of motivational list for the rest of the year. 

‣ Take good care of my physical health.
Stop being abusive to myself. Eat on time. Sleep early....

‣ Be clean and organize at home and at school.
Do house chores regularly. Clean and nice environment for learning.

‣ Study and pass exams.
Not all is given the chance to go back to school. I'll do my very best in everything. Learn from my past mistakes.

‣ Look for part time job.
Because of the weather my small business is not doing well. So I have to look for another way to support my needs.

‣ Open saving account.
Have to start saving. Money Challenge perhaps?

‣ Be more active in blogging.
Publish at least one article a week? Why not? This might help me regain my creative juices. To keep my brain active.

‣Buy new blog domain.
 I want to establish Simply Vanessa as my brand. Hopefully a new .com or .net this October.

‣ Work on blog banners & logo.
For my social media and blog identity.

‣ Attend Conventions/Events.
ArchCon Cebu, Toficon and maybe Kpop related events.

‣ Continue learning new language.
Spanish, Japanese and Korean.

‣ Visit relative in Quezon Province this December. 
Exploring Luzon for the first time! Yay!

‣ Fixed Laptop and buy new phone.
Helpful for studies and blogging.

‣ Read at least one book a week.
I need to improve my English and to keep my imagination burning. 

‣ Watch more Korean Drama.
KDrama is life!

‣ Refurbish room.
Repainting, Buying new furniture and more

‣ Set up a mini study and work space/office.
A nice and relaxing place for study and work.

‣ Practice drawing skills
Time to give my skills another try. Painting. Watercolors. Sketching. 

‣ Explore new things
Don't be afraid  to commit mistake. There will always be a first time in everything.

‣ Be confident
After shutting down the world I become less confident than I was before. I need to stand up and be positive.

So that's all in my list but I might add more. I'll be optimistic again this time that I will be able to achieve all of them. I will look back to this list by December and looking forward for better life the rest of the year.

Photo Credits: Christoph PeichEwan RobertsonGlenn Carstens-Peters

Vanessa is from Cebu, Philippines who loves to document her personal style, daily life, wanderlust and Japan Love in this small space she considers her personal diary.